The Black Darkness
by Red Hill
Summary: Because of an incident Sasuke has gone blind. But what will happen if Itachi comes back? [ItaSasu] [Rating for any bad language] Chapter 2 is up! (05-01-2005)
1. Can't Catch Light

This is my first attempt for an ItaSasu fanfiction. I started with this fiction a while ago, and was constantly thinking about 'Shall I put up the story or not?' I wasn't sure if readers would appreciate the idea of Sasuke being blind. But I really need the reviews for this fic, it helps me getting further with the story.  
Note: About how he got blind, I knów it's not very original, butI couldn't think of something else.

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Chapter One: Can't Catch Light

My eyes hurt.. They hurt with seeing the darkness every day. They hurt without seeing light ever again.

It's dark, no single light comes through. I can't see it; It's all darkness..

It's light, or that is what I think it is. I can't recognize it anymore. I only see black.

It's grey. I feel mist coming up, but I can't see it. I feel the clouds on my skin, but that's all I see.

I can't see you. But I feel your arms around. You push me away, but I do have feelings. I'm not the ice everyone thinks that I am.

My eyes hurt. I can't see with them. I see with my senses.

I can feel you coming closer, but that's all. I can't see your smile dancing on your face. I can't see the sun playing with your hair.

It's dark. I want to see you.. But I can't…

I open my eyes, and the darkness greets me, just like every morning. I hide behind my so called glares, glares that hate but can't see the world around. It's true that I don't like company that much.. No one knows about it… It's too dark in my thoughts, and it also is outside of them. There isn't any light that can heal the darkness inside of me. The darkness outside will never be healed though.

I never have said these words before, but I know I have to do it someday. I'm scared of the reactions I will get; what they will say about me, when I will tell them that my eyes can't see the light anymore, and that they only catch the darkness. Everyone will be suprised, be confused, will be laughing about my antics I keep up every day, month.. Even years.. My eyes can only see darkness, only the black of my own imagination. It's true… Everything in my life is a lie, except that.. I'm blind, my eyes don't catch light. They're defect.. But can't be repaired on a sunny day that the elevator mechanic came to repair the elevator in the high building.

I'm scared. I don't want to be left alone. I can't see light.. There is no reason to leave me alone. Why do I keep up this lie?

I'm scared. I don't want _him _to know. He says that I'm weak.. pathetic.. But not anymore! Then I could see the light. Then I could greet the sun with a cheery ''Ohayoo''.. But not anymore.. He doesn't know that my eyes are defect, are broken with my own missery.. With the tears that were spilled every day. The massacre.. The murders.. The blood.. The red spilled liquid that lay on the floor.. And the only thing I could do was stare. Stare at the bloody bodies in the room.. And I was scared, so scared of the man that stood there, the man that said that he was my brother. He said he would come back, to see if I became stronger. To see if he little brother did what he wanted me to do.

He didn't of the hurt I was going through every day. Of the betrayal.

I didn't know when he would come. If he would betray me once more. If he would hurt me because of the darkness that I saw every day.

The blindness itself was an accident. It happened on an mission. But even then they didn't see it. They didn't see that I couldn't throw the shuriken right anymore. They couldn't see that I thought that a tree was Kakashi-sensei. I trained my abilities and now I didn't see with my eyes anymore. I saw with my senses, my ability to hear, to speak, to sense where something was.

But even if I didn't really saw, I could still see the bloodspats on the carpet. I could see dead bodies.. I could see my brother, saying that I was nothing than a weak and pathetic burden to him. I still could feel all the love fall off me.

Since then I wore the mask that everyone could see so clearly. The mask that said that they had to leave me alone, that I didn't want any company, any love. I lied to myself.. I wanted someone.. But I made the wrong choice…

I swinged my legs over my bed, until I felt the floor under my bare feet. Walking slowly I scanned the room in the search for any unknown chakra. There wasn't any. I walked to my closet, with the problem I had every day. I forgot that there still was a wall.. For the about thousanth time this month, I almost bumped into it.

After that I had dressed myself –it was a good thing that my clothes where all the same- I went dow for breakfast.

Quickly after I turned blind I learned that stairs were very terrifying when you couldn't see them. The first time I went down I almost fell.. That was.. not funny..

I was silent and stayed silent while I made some food for myself. Man, it was a miracle that I could find the things that I needed.

I think it was about half past eight when I left. Since I couldn't look on the clock anymore..

I walked out of the house, locking the door behind me.

Listening to the sounds around me I tried to orientate myself. So I was near the bridge where we always met Kakashi-sensei.. that was good.. I had never been so quick.

I could hear Naruto mumble a small ''Ohayoo'' when I stood next to him. Okay, so I knew I stood next to Naruto..

''Ohayoo..'' I mumbled back. I could feel Naruto watching me and I turned away. I didn't want him to see my eyes… If I would give him a glance the only thing he would see was that I didn't look straight at him. Maybe I stared at some kind of tree, maybe at the other side of the bridge.. I don't know; that's why I just don't look at him.

''Ohayoo, Sasuke-kun, '' I heard Sakura suddenly say. Almost jumping I looked to the way where the sound was coming from. I heard her gasp and I cursed under my breath. I forgot it! Damnit! She had seen my cloudy, lifeless eyes..

I could feel someone come closer and in a reflex I took a step back.

''Is it true?'' I could hear Naruto voice ask.

''I don't know what you're talking about,'' I replied coldly.

''I'm just concerned, damnit. You're just a fucking teme!''

''I don't need your pity.. I can take care of my own.'' I turned away, to hide the tears that appeared in the corner of my eyes.

''Yo!'' Kakashi's voice suddenly said. For the second time this day I almost jumped. It remained silent. There was no ''You're late!'' or ''What kind of excuse do you have now?''

I didn't like this silence. What the hell were they doing?!

''What's up with you guys?'' I heard Kakashi ask. There was still no answer. In the background I could hear the birds softly chirp. ''Is anyone listening to me?'' Still no answer. ''What is wrong with you guys today?!''

Sakura spoke up, her voice almost couldn't be heard. ''It's.. it's.. Sasuke-kun..'' I swallowed lightly. Kakashi would come.. He would see it too.. He would.. He would… What would he do?

Kakashi spoke again. ''What is it?''

''His.. his.. it were his.. eyes.. They weren't what they used to be.. They were.. different..''

A tear started to slip out of the corner of my eye; birds still chirping. I knew I couldn't take it anymore. I knew I had to do something.. It didn't matter what… Another tear fell on the ground.

''Turn around, Sasuke.'' I heard Kakashi say. My head snapped up and in a whirl I turned. Anger took over all my senses.

''You don't know anything about me!'' I yelled. ''You guys didn't even see it! You didn't see it, damnit!'' I was getting really angry now. Tears started to stream. ''It's true! I'm not perfect! I have things to deal with like anyone else in this whole fucking world! I can't see! Do you hear me, I can't see! My eyes stopped working, I can only see darkness.. Every day..'' It wassilent, Too silent, if you ask me.

I turned around to leave but someone grabbed my arm. ''Let go off me!'' I yelled angrily.

''You need help.'' I heard Kakashi say.

''I don't care!'' I yelled back. I pulled myself free from the hurting grip and ran away, hopefully to my house. I didn't care anymore.. I didn't care if I would die right now, I didn't-

I bumped into someone and fell on the ground. Muttering some things under my breath I stood up again. A voice let me snap out of my thoughts.

''Aniki.. Is that you?'' My eyes widened.

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That Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi hadn't seen it, I know that that's almost impossible. I may change that, but for now I just 'let it be'. Thank you for reading, if you would review I'll try to update as soon as possible.


	2. Killing Myself

Thank you for already reading the first chapter and for you interest in my story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of it's characters, those belong to Masashi Kishimoto, the creator of the anime/manga. (Can I say that I own the plotline?)

To the one reviewer I had (...):

Thank you for reviewing! And what kind of development do you exactly mean?

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Chapter Two: Killing Myself

''I-Itachi..?'' I asked, my eyes still widened with suprise and fear.

''Can't you see it?'' I heard him ask. I lowered my head so he couldn't see my eyes.

''No..'' I whispered. ''I can't..'' I looked up. ''I can't..'' I whispered again. I tried to find my aniki with searching for a sound, but I didn't heard a thing. I couldn't even hear his breath. Trying to control myself I breathed in deeply a few times.

''Why didn't you tell me?'' Itachi's voice asked me suddenly.

My anger boiled up again. ''Why I didn't tell you!?'' I roared. ''Maybe because you killed them! You killed the ones I loved! You killed my family! Do you really think that I would write a letter to you that tells you exactly how my life is going?!''

''Not really, no..'' My aniki replied coolly. Somehow that only made me angrier. So angry that I just couldn't yell.. I think my face was whole red. But I couldn't look in the mirror to look if I was right.

''You- you-'' I sputtered. (A/N: No, I don't know if that's a word.. --)

''What?'' Itachi asked.

I breathed in for a moment and then said the most disturbing thing I have ever said in my life. ''When you killed _them_, I swore to myself that I would kill you when I saw you back. But unfortunately, if I would try it.. I think it would just take seconds to die for me.. So I figured out that killing isn't one of the options I had when I still could see you.'' Long story in a few sentences.. ''And by the way,'' I added, ''I had sworn when I _saw_ you back. Not hear you back..''

''That can be a problem, yeah..'' Itachi said, not really noticing what his brother just told him.

''You're not listening, do you?'' I said, a sweatdrop hanging on the back of my head.

''Huh?'' I sighed. This was going to take a lot of my time…

''..and that's how it happened..'' I finally ended, after talking about hours..

''That's a long story..!'' Itachi exclaimed.

''Yeah, what did you think it was, a five minute story?'' I commented.

''You did ten minutes about telling me.'' Itachi told me.

''That's cool..'' I mumbled with my voice dripping with sarcasm.

''Little brother, I know that you hate me, I can't change a thing about that fact. But if you want me to help you.. After all we're still family.'' Itachi said, or that's what I thought that I heard him say. I blinked. Was this Itachi? Was this the brother that had left me seven years ago? I knew that I had changed, but it was almost weird to hear him say something like this.

''Aniki,'' I started, underwhile trying to find if it was my brother or not. ''..I don't even know if you're my aniki. I can't see if you're lying or not. I'm sorry.'' The last two words were whispered.

''It's not your fault,'' he answered. ''Do you remember the story I used to tell you, when you were little?''

''Of course I remember that, how can I forget something like that?'' I replied, slightly annoyed.

''Do you remember your sixth birthday, when we went to the beach together?''

I lifted my head slightly, in an attempt to look at my brother. ''Yeah, I remember that. You bought me icecream than.''

''Do you believe now that I'm you aniki?'' I smiled and nodded.

''Yes, only my brother could tell those things, so I believe you.''

''That's good.'' I felt a hand patting my head. Okay, I may believe my brother, but he doesn't need to do that. I pushed his arm away.

''No fluff.'' I said shortly.

''Whatever you wish..'' I heard my brother mumble. It's rather weird that when one of your sences disappears, the others will grow stronger. But it's also logical. When I lost my eyesight, I figured out that I heard a lot better then when I still could see. It explains a lot. It also has helped me.

''Thank you,'' I suddenly said, I don't know why, but I did. ''Thank you that you want to help me.'' I could almost feel my brother smirk, it was the way he was. That was why he was my brother. I let out a small sigh; there were things that would never change.

After a few hours of arguing, I decided that I had no choice than letting my brother inside the house. Damn, I was pissed. Very, _very_ pissed. Couldn't he get a room of his own? Oh yeah, I forgot, he was a criminal. Criminals were searched and couldn't get a room in a random hotel. No, to make it even better, they couldn't go out without being almost getting killed. This was just great, so great that it just couldn't get any better. ''Ne, otouto, do you have any blankets?'' I sighed, okay, so it could..

''No, I don't.''

''But how can I sleep without a-''

''You're a shinobi, right? Than I'm sure you'll survive the night without blanket.''

''But-''

''No!'' I snickered mentally, it was fun to tease my brother.

After almost tripping over a chair, which made my brother fall of his own chair from laughing and me myself to yell at him for another quarter, I found my way upstairs to go to sleep. It was weird, to know that there was someone else in your house, even though you couldn't see them. I turned, now laying on my ear. But he had't told me why he was here. Was it because of a mission? A certain mission..

_Flashback_

_''I can't really call it a dream, it's more an ambition. To kill a certain man. and the resseruction of my clan.''_

_End Flashback_

I shook my head. I had to put it out of my head. I knew it would take time to forgive him, and I was still mad. I still wanted to kill him, but that wasn't possible, or at least, not yet.. What was I thinking? He is the only one that knows what going on, or at least cares. Why do I want to do this? Damn.. I'm confused. After another few minutes of arguing with myself I fell to sleep. Dreaming one of my worst nightmares...

_Dream Sequence_

_I was standing there again, standing for the closed door that went to the livingroom. I heard the screams and shouts, but didn't move an inch. Shaking, I reached out for the doorknob, to find the horrifying scene that played in there. The floor was drenched in blood, blood of my own family. And I stood there, gaping for air. On the other side of the room Itachi gave me a cold look. And that moment I wanted to burst into tears, screaming why he had done it, like any other seven-year-old would do. But I didn't, I kept my mouth shut, and only stared. But the tears were streaming out of my eyes, even though I didn't make any sound. There was only one thing I said. ''Why..?''_

_My brother walked to me, and unable to move I remained where I was. I could only stare at him, with wide eyes full of shock and fear. ''You're weak, pathetic.. If you're worth my strength, I'll fight.'' _1_ He just said those words, and even if we didn't had any physical contact, it felt like someone had slapped my face._

_End Dream Sequence_

I woke up, startled. My face was wet of my own tears and cold sweat. But there was something else. Something warm.. A pair of arms were wrapped around me, in a protective way. ''It was just a dream..'' I heard my brother whisper. ''You're here, nothing has happened.''

I let out a small sigh, relaxing my muscles. Turning around, I snuggled closer in the protective embrace of my brother, wishing that he would never let me go. For once I wasn't scared of the dark. For once I knew that someone did care about me. But the nightmare still followed me, confusing me, pushing me to the edge of screaming. Why was I doing it? He had killed my parents damn it! I pushed myself away, dropping on the ground. I didn't care. The bastard! When Itachi spoke again, his voice was soft, nearly choked out. I could hear it.

''Is it.. because of me?'' I stayed quiet. ''Because of what happened. Seven years ago..'' I let my back lean against the bed.

''What do you expect? It was _that_ nightmare again. It hunts me down almost every night.'' I closed my eyes.

''I didn't know..''

''No, you didn't.'' I said harsh. ''You don't know a thing. At least, not of me.'' I remembered my brother. Looking serious, with that stern expression. That smirk on his face. I remembered every single thing, every detail. The Akatsuki cloak. The red Sharingan eyes that could glare furiously at you. ''I could never forget you, even in my dreams you're still coming back, no matter if they're happy or sad. I remember everything. But it's probaly changed. Everyone changes, that's just.. normal. But I can't see the changes anymore, even though I want to see them so badly.''

It was silent for a while. ''Sometimes I wonder how you are feeling, aniki.''

''Well, now you know. Helpless. Weak. Even pathetic. All the things you said to me then. You were right, I'm all those things, even more. I can't even take care of myself.''

''That's nonsense!'' I jumped at the outburst of my brother. ''Of course you're not weak. You didn't gave up, even though you couldn't see.''

''Failure isn't in my dictionary. What's the point of living when you don't have a goal to reach?''

''I don't know..''

I sighed. ''What time is it?''

''Three in the morning.'' I groaned. My brother continued speaking. ''I'll be downstairs if you need anything, but I doubt that.'' The squeeking of the bed made me jump for a second time this night. The door went open and closed with a 'click'. I sat down and thought about our talk. It was the most serious talk I had in a long time. A really long time.

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1 When I wrote this chapter I hadn't read the right manga chapter yet, so I'm sorry if it's not what you expected.

Note: Before I continue this (this note isn't about expectations for reviews, or anything like that), I wanted to let the readers know that have seen not all of the anime.Okay, so alot, not. I've seen 1 'til 31, and 80, 81, 82 and 83. Just wanted to let you know.  
Second note: This takes place before Sasuke leaves Konoha, but after Itachi has visited Konoha. I know that the time doesn't completely fit with the anime, but this is an fanfiction, right? In fanfictions _anything_ can happen.  
R&R please..


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